Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Saying Goodbye to 2010

I'm saying GOODBYE to 2010 may you never come back again. With the exception of my son's birth and my new niece and nephew this has been another crappy year. Just in case your not sure why let me remind you........

March.... One year anniversary of Sage passing away.

April.... John was fired from Southwest because he took three days off when I had Caden instead of just the one day.

July.... Kaitlen slipped in her room broke her tibia and fibula bone. She was in a wheel chair for 3 months.
John got a job working for a crazy man, he owned his own Mobil auto repair business; you know the kind that come to your house to fix your car. The kicker is "CRAZY FRED" didn't even own a car yet he was the owner of a MOBIL auto repair business. John drove him around he was the mans taxi.

September.... My dad told John and I to move home so we could help each other out financially. Little did we know he goes Crazy in October.

October.... My Dad goes crazy, he leaves my mom for "His Best Friend", homeless, no car and with $2.46 to her name.
John and I are now homeless as well remember September.
Kaitlen gets her cast off but now she walks with a limp.

December.... Came to the realization my Dad doesn't love me, his FRIEND didn't even know he had a daughter named Jessica. (I got to met her, go me) I was the only child that didn't get a Merry Christmas text from him.
Kaitlen still walks with a limp, we need to get her in physical therapy.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Santa gets all the Love

This morning I was getting Kaitlen ready for school and she was telling me what she wants from Santa.........

ME: Kaitlen what do you want from Santa?

KT: I want a DS Mom

ME: Wow that's a pretty tall request I'm not sure if Santa can get a DS.

KT: Mom a DS is small it's like this (she draws an outline in the air)

I love how innocent kids are she has no idea that a DS cost a lot of money. Little does she know that I love her and Haven so much that I was standing in line at Walmart freakin early with Aunt Amanda on Black Friday so that I could make their Christmas the best. For 89 bucks a piece Santa will fulfill their Christmas wish. I can't forget to give a shout out to mom and Aunt Crystal for making sure Payten gets her Barbie Power wheel Jeep from Santa that was on sale for 88 bucks on Black Friday. Needless to say I'm excited for Christmas, to bad Santa gets all the credit!

Saturday, November 6, 2010

baby jack jack

Caden's nick name has become Jack Jack, he is so little but he's always trying to do big things! I love this little boy so much.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Wasn't Enough Time

My baby will be 8 months old next Thursday, he will be 8 months and 2 days next Saturday. My nephew passed away at 8 months and 2 days; 19 months ago my brother in law found Sage in his crib not breathing. The day Caden was born I have always feared for the day my son would be 8 months and 2 days old. In my mind I think what if I only have 9 more days to kiss on him, hold him, be with him. 8 months isn't long enough at all.

Tonight Crystal and Spencer gave Caden, Sage's Santa toy they were so happy to put it together for him and even more excited to see him play with it. It's not fair Caden should have been playing with an old toy that Sage grew out of, the toy has been around longer then he was. I'm scared for next Saturday to come I'm so scared that I don't think I will be able to lay him in his bed that night. I know how retarded this sounds but every mother knows how much they love their babies and the thought of not having him with me in 9 days makes me cry. It hasn't been long enough I'm just getting to know him.

Crystal and Spencer are truly the strongest two people I have ever met, they have blessed my life with their faith in Heavenly Father and their love for each other everyday. I know how selfish this sounds it's not about me or my son I'm just afraid bad things happen all the time. Okay so this post is truly my ramblings sorry....

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

I'm not tired yet Mom

After a long day of moving and playing with her cousins, Payten refused to go to bed because she was not tired. She pulled all the crayons out of the basket and was going to color me a picture. She lasted all but two minutes before she crashed.
She fell asleep holding her crayon!

Monday, October 25, 2010

First Football Game

John has waited forever to have a boy to share his love of football with. On Sunday and Monday night's John will take Caden and go watch football with him. He loves having his son with him to share his favorite sport with.

John and Caden at RaLee's last home football game.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

When I grow up I want to be...

The first winter of our marriage was spent in freezing Montana Brrrrrr. I remember one night I was cold and just wanted something warm to eat, John offered to make me some oatmeal. It was the worst bowl of oatmeal ever made a chimp on a space shuttle could have made a better bowl; it was lumpy and crunchy. Being a new wife and not wanting to hurt John's feelings I ate the said bowl of oats and vowed to never allow him to cook for me again.

Fast forward four years.......

We have struggled so hard financially these last four years, it was with our faith in Heavenly Father that we choose to have another baby. John and I were afraid to tell our parents that we were expecting again. John and I have know that John needs some kind of education; but he just could never decided what he wanted to do. we have discussed law enforcement, teaching and even joining the army but nothing fits.

These last four years John has found his hidden talent in the kitchen. I giggle thinking about the first bowl of oatmeal he ever made me compared to now. So I'm so excited that he has finally decided what he wants to be when he grows up. He starts Le Cordon Bleu College of Culinary Arts on November 8Th. He is going to be chef, I'm so happy for him he's so excited and nervous. He is doing their associates degree program and then we might go ahead and do the bachelors degree program. However with his associates he will still make a pretty good living for us. I'm so happy for him I can't wait to see all the yummy things he learns how to make.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

AND THEN................

AND THEN.... has become our motto these days when we tell a story we can always say AND THEN. For example Sage passed away AND THEN CPS took Kaitlen from our home for a month AND THEN Royal broke his hand and needed surgery AND THEN Crystal and Spencer get in a car accident AND THEN John lost his job......... I Think I could go on for five pages with AND THEN.

Saturday was Amanda's baby shower Crystal did an awesome job, the decorations, food all of it was so cool. (Mom has pictures she will post soon) anyway I was in the kitchen finishing up some last minute things AND THEN... Amanda yelled that Caden was hurt. AND THEN I went into the living room picked him up and noticed his mouth was bleeding. We don't know how he did it but he managed to push his front tooth all the way forward it was awful it took all I had not to cry. John G. came from down stairs he gave Caden a blessing AND THEN he pushed my little mans tooth back into place. It was the worst thing I couldn't help but cry. Hubby John and I took him to an ER they said he was fine; that John G. did the right thing to push his tooth back. I'm taking him to a pediatric. dentist on Monday just in case he is hurt worse then it looks.

Just for the record I'm sooooo sick of AND THEN....... no more AND THEN........

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Take a deep breath

Take a deep breath and breathe, everything is changing. One thing will always stay the same NOTHING CAN BREAK US not Sage's passing and not this. Thank you to our amazing husbands for stepping up and being Men. That's why our heavenly Father created son in laws. For times like these. I have a deep love for Spencer and John G. My John thank you for being my rock and letting me cry and for letting me be in a crappy mood. For holding me like a child and rubbing my head. I Love you.

Friday, October 8, 2010


My last post seemed to confuse some of you, after reading it I can see why Oops that's what I get for blogging while I'm tired and upset. So let me explain; I was talking to Crystal about whats been going on in our family this past week and with all the wisdom of a 90 year old grandma she talked to me about "The Stupid Cow" talk that was given in conference during the second session on Sunday. She told me that the cow had a pen with his food in it but he choose to poke his head out of it and eat the wheat. That he kept on eating and eating until his belly swelled up and he died. The cow broke the rules that were made for him he choose to nibble a little until his nibbling killed him. This talk has help our family this past week so now as a joke or just out of sadness and frustration we will say "YOU STUPID COW"

I have the BEST big sister in this entire world she has been threw the worst possible thing a mother can ever go threw and yet she is the one holding our family together I love her and respect her more then words can explain.

So here is to you "YOU STUPID COW"

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Thanks Big Sister

All I have to say right now is .............. "YOU STUPID COW"

Sunday, October 3, 2010


We are going private send me your e-mail if you want an invite

Friday, September 24, 2010

I Like to Move it Move it

When I started having babies 8 1/2 years ago I was told that babies grow and develop at their own pace. Most little ones roll over at 2-3 months, can sit up at around 6 months, crawl at 8 months and walking at 12 months. I look forward too each new stage that my baby makes. I remember being sad when my Payten began crawling at five months and walking at seven months. She was my baby being that Kaitlen is 5 1/2 years older then Pay. I was looking forward to having a tiny baby to take care of. But to my amazement she was in a huge hurry to grow up I was bummed that she didn't stay "babyish" for awhile. Then we got pregnant with Caden I was so excited to be getting a baby boy, a son to love. Again I was hoping that this time my baby would not be in such a hurry to grow up. I was hoping that because he was a he that he would be slower at sitting up, crawling and walking. I have heard that boys are sometimes slower at developing. Let me tell you I was not shocked when my five month old sat up and began crawling all on the same day. Caden is now six months old and he crawls everywhere; he scares me when he goes from a sitting position to his knees I just hold my breath and hope he doesn't smack his face on the carpet 8 out of 10 times he is a pro the other two times he needs a few loves. I'm greatful that my little man still loves to nurse and he always has kisses for me. Half the time he is crawling to find me if I'm in a diffeent room then he is. I'm just so thankful that he is here and I get to be the one to take care of him even though he is in such a hurry to grow up.

Caden's Great Grandpa and Great Grandma Marry gave him his white teddy bear
He LOVES to play with his cousins. The older kids are so nice to let him sit and play they all look after him.
My little man!

Sunday, September 5, 2010

One Year and Six Months

On September 19 my dear little nephew Sage will have been with the angels for 18 months. I have learned threw his passing that each one of us grieves differently. For instance I have learned that I'm a keep it inside and don't talk about it but think about him everyday kind of griever. Until I can't keep it in anymore and have to talk to John. Sage's death has forever changed our family and the way we view each other. We cry at birthdays and thank Heavenly Father for allowing our child to have a birthday. When a child has their FIRST birthday I have such a feeling of relief I feel like its their biggest accomplishment they turned 1. Before I put my Caden to bed I always kiss his check and tell him that no one loves him as much as I do and to please wake up. When I hear his little cry threw the monitor I say a thank you prayer for allowing him to wake up. When Payten is driving me nuts I have to sit back and just remember at least she is here with me driving me nuts. Kaitlen has a broken leg and for the last six weeks John and I have had to do almost everything for her. But at least she is still here and a leg can heal. Haven lives a few thousand miles away but at least she is living. Sage has taught me to always love my babies that no matter what they did or will do that at least they are here to do it.

2010 has brought our family three new babies Caden in March, Ellie in August and Amanda's baby in October. My sisters and I can't help but worry until we are sick that something will go wrong. Sages death has taken our blinders off we no longer live in happy fairy tale land instead we know that anything can happen and the worst part about knowing this is even though Sage passed away we know that it doesn't give our family a free pass for all our other children. Instead we know that the time we have with our children is the most important time we will ever have. We always say you would think that with Sages passing nothing else bad will ever happen to any of us again that we should all win the lottery or invent the cure for cancer. Instead we know that lighting can strike the same place twice. So I encourage you all to love your children every minute of everyday. Play with them, laugh with them and teach them the gospel

Crystal and I will talk and say that at least Sage has made it, he will always get to live with Heavenly Father he will never have to worry about making it back home. But part of me a (huge) part would rather have him here with us I think we could have been his teachers he would have made his mistakes but at least we could have been his teachers. I know that I can't see the bigger picture and I know our Heavenly Father needed him but knowing this doesn't take away the pain. In most cases I just feel guilty for wanting him here with us instead of living with Heavenly Father.

To my Sage you have been gone 18 months and I miss you as much as I did that awful day in March. Till we meet again

Your Aunt

Saturday, September 4, 2010

People of Walmart II

Oh my goodness these are just to funny not to share. Go to www.peopleofwalmart.com for hundreds of laughs.

‘Cuz He Likes To Party

Wing Dings

Silly Bands

Sneak Peek

Blame It On The Goose

Thursday, September 2, 2010

September 1,2007

My little girl turned three yesterday, I was so excited for her. She started her day off with her very first dentist appointment. Which I'm happy to report went really well, she has no cavities and zero build up. Then it was time for the fun, we took Payten to Jeeper Creepers it's an indoor amusement park. She loved it we had so much fun with her. Then we came home and I made her a special dinner and a cake! Her BIG party will be on Friday with her aunts,uncles,cousins and grandparents.

Payten Memories: Remember when........

I was in labor and the nurse told me I wasn't and just a few hours later she was born.
Me beating the crap out of John during labor.
Me crying for DRUGS when I was in labor.
Me asking for my mom but instead I called her MOMMY, yes John still teases me about that one.
The first time I saw her very blond hair and BIG blue eyes.
She cried ALL the time.
When she laughed for the first time I cried.
My poor baby had her first UTI I cried again.
When Payten was only 8 months old and walking everywhere.
She was 12 months old and finally slept for me.
When she beat up Jayden, oh wait she still does that. She can be so mean.
When she was potty training and was so excited that she pooped in the potty.
When she started calling her grandparents "Greenma and Greenpa"
When she thinks I'm still asleep and gives me a hug and a kiss and tells me she loves me.
When she steals Cadens Binky's because she can't find hers.
She says I love you to SPACE.
When she eats your food off of your plate even though she has the same thing on her plate.
When she jumped in the pool all by herself and wasn't afraid.
When she was going to go to school because her sisters do.
When we moved her bed into our room because she wouldn't stop sleeping on the floor and it was sad to see her bunched up on the floor next to me every night.
I'll love her forever because she is my Pay Pay!

Happy Birthday Payten!

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Sorry Payten

So Payten was siting on my lap when I had this on she jumped from my lap screaming ran into her bedroom screaming and crying she was so scared. When I was able to calm her down she told me 'Momma Pay Pay don't like scary monster on yours puter' Okay I know this was a mean thing to do but it was so funny to see her reaction. She was so afraid for Kaitlen that she opened her door an inch and was yelling for her' K-T MA to come in yours room before the monster gets her' I know I know its a mean thing to do but so funny.

Are we done yet

We are almost one month out since Kaitlen broke her leg and all I can ask is ARE WE DONE YET. I'm so ready for her to be healed its not even funny, I'm tired of getting her to and from school, getting her up the stairs down the stairs, in the car out of the car, in the shower out of the shower. Most of all I'm sick of her wheel chair I feel like her chair is ALWAYS in the way I trip on it at least once a day. Poor girl gets so board that she just stares at me or she rolls as fast as she can from the kitchen to the couch over and over again. If I'm this annoyed you can only imagine how Katie is feeling needless to say the next few months need to hurry along.

Monday, August 23, 2010

But I Like Him A lot

Just in case you all aren't counting my little guy is five months old now. He has not only stolen my heart but the heart of his three older sisters as well. We had Miss Haven for summer and she not only helped me with his bath everyday but she also picked out his clothes. Haven loved his 'boy' clothes so much that she tried to wear them after deciding she was to big for them she would lay them on her chest and pretend she was wearing them. Haven loves Caden so much that she would hold on to his arms and rap to him K-I-S-S-I-N-G over and over again she saw that on Americas Got Talent.

Then we have Kaitlen who informs me that she has NO MORE big sister left in her and if we decided to have another baby she is living at her Grandmas. She says that he needs to much attention and that every one just thinks he is sooooo cute. But she can't leave for school without giving him hugs and the first thing she does when she gets home is talks to him. He response to her evey time he really likes Kaitlen they growl at one another and she was the first one to get him to laugh!

Now we have Payten she over loves him, its so bad that I don't dare shower when he is awake, one time I came out of the bedroom and she had his little swing going so fast that poor Cade was white knuckling it. She is always wanting to see his "boy parts" and just yesterday she got hold of a marker and drew all over his face. I thought she was playing with him while he was in his bouncer but no she was coloring him brown. Payten won't share HIS toys with him and she has taken over every one of his Binky's I'll look over and she is sucking on his blue 0-3 month Binky. Her best line is but mom I just like him a lot. She has tried to nurse him and when he is crying she thinks biting him is the best way to get him to stop. Over all we have great girls they just really love their brother!

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Oh my Gosh Caden is almost three months old

Almost three months ago my little boy was born. Our family changed forever that day, we went from a family of little girls to a family with a BOY and little girls! Those first few weeks I was so tired and overwhelmed I wasn't sure how I was going to care for each of them. But three months later I have figured it out. As Kaitlen says "I'm getting used too having Caden around" He is my little buddy, he wakes up every morning around 5:30 - 6:00 he always greets me with a smile. I think those few hours we have together in the morning before the girls wake up are so special. He will talk to me and give me his best smiles that melt my heart every time. He loves to be held tight when he is tired within minutes he is sound asleep. We are so grateful he has been given to our family.

Getting Ready for Bed!

Sucking his thumb

First day of Church

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Long Lost Blog

If you can't tell we don't have Internet at our new place so my blog never gets updated. However if you follow my moms you all should know that our little man was born a month ago on the 11Th. He is such a sweet baby, I am so blessed to have him. He sleeps pretty good for me, and if he is awake at night he is just so cuddly that I don't mind the lack of sleep. Just like I had suspected he has John's ears it is crazy how genetics work. Did I mention how much I love him!! I find myself getting peeded on a few times a day; Crystal informed me it's because I'm to slow at changing him. She is right I'm not used to 'boy' parts and am afraid of hurting him I guess I can be alittle aggressive and he won't get hurt. I find myself crying when I do is laundry I love seeing ALL blue inside the washer I didn't think having a little boy would melt my heart the way it has. My first two babies cried so much and never slept that I'm on cloud nine that Caden sleeps and hardly ever cries I had know idea a baby could be so happy. Heavenly Father knew I needed a calm, happy baby this time around.

Friday, February 5, 2010

The light at the end of the tunnel

5 more weeks, yes folks we are on the count down to Delivery Day. I am so excited; this baby has been one roller coaster after another to carry, but I'm so thankful I have been able to carry him this long! I still don't know if I will have to have a c-section, at my last appointment he was estimated to weigh 6Lbs 10oz that's how much my girls weighed at 40 weeks. I had another blood sugar test Wednesday I'll find out the results of that next Wednesday. If my blood sugar comes back high then I will have to go to the doctor twice a week and check my blood sugar 4x a day. If I do have diabetes then that means the baby will have to stay in the NICU after birth because his blood sugar will be high. I am trying to prepare myself that I might not get to take him home right away, I keep on telling myself at least I will be able to take him home, and he will be healthy. So that's it for now, oh yeah I did turn 29 a few weeks ago, I'm not sure what has hapened to my 20's they just flew by thats for sure!

Monday, January 18, 2010

My Favorite Child is.......

After what I claim to be the longest weekend of my life I have decided that even though my baby isn't here yet he is my favorite child of the weekend. He didn't scream, fight, bite or even roll his eyes at me. Instead he gave me heartburn and his leg and butt are smashing my right lung so every time I bend down I can't breath and think I'm going to pass out. He still wins my favorite child award! Can you tell it has been a LONG weekend.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

30 week ultrasound

Last Tuesday we had our last ultrasound, I was excited because "last ultrasound" means I'm almost done. Mom and John went with me, I love seeing the baby at 30 weeks they are so much bigger then the 19 week ultrasound I can always see so much more detail. For instance our little boy has some big ears they were poking out, I hate to say he has John's ears because you can't really know that until they are older but from the picture they sure look like his Daddy's ears. After some joking around and the tech giving John his first heart attack, she told him our baby was a girl. For about ten seconds he was speechless then he realized she was joking around with him.

After my ultrasound I had to wait to see the doctor, Mom and I waited for an hour I was getting ready to leave when the doctor finally came in. (John had taken Payten out she was STARVING) I was expecting her to get on to me for gaining 2 pounds over the last month {BTW I have only gained 4 pounds}but instead she started off saying my last blood test were good and the baby was over three pounds. Then she told us that the ultrasound had showed that the baby has to much water around him. That my water level is a 20 and they like to see it around 10-13. I didn't know what this meant I had only ever heard of low water levels not to high. Without trying to freak me out she said it could mean that the baby isn't swallowing and to please not look it up on the Internet because it will only freak me out more. SO as promised I have NOT looked, John has, and he has told me somethings but I have also promised him I wouldn't look it up. We have another ultrasound on the 19Th to check the water level if the water gets to a 30 all I know is that they might induce labor, or try to drain the extra water other then that I don't want to know because 65% of babies born with high water levels are 100% healthy. I'm only blogging about this for journaling purposes I haven't even talked about it with anyone other then John and as he says I WORRY way to much. So on the 19Th I get to see my little guy again I hope we can see his face this time and that my water level is down to a healthy level.