Saturday, November 6, 2010

baby jack jack

Caden's nick name has become Jack Jack, he is so little but he's always trying to do big things! I love this little boy so much.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Wasn't Enough Time

My baby will be 8 months old next Thursday, he will be 8 months and 2 days next Saturday. My nephew passed away at 8 months and 2 days; 19 months ago my brother in law found Sage in his crib not breathing. The day Caden was born I have always feared for the day my son would be 8 months and 2 days old. In my mind I think what if I only have 9 more days to kiss on him, hold him, be with him. 8 months isn't long enough at all.

Tonight Crystal and Spencer gave Caden, Sage's Santa toy they were so happy to put it together for him and even more excited to see him play with it. It's not fair Caden should have been playing with an old toy that Sage grew out of, the toy has been around longer then he was. I'm scared for next Saturday to come I'm so scared that I don't think I will be able to lay him in his bed that night. I know how retarded this sounds but every mother knows how much they love their babies and the thought of not having him with me in 9 days makes me cry. It hasn't been long enough I'm just getting to know him.

Crystal and Spencer are truly the strongest two people I have ever met, they have blessed my life with their faith in Heavenly Father and their love for each other everyday. I know how selfish this sounds it's not about me or my son I'm just afraid bad things happen all the time. Okay so this post is truly my ramblings sorry....

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

I'm not tired yet Mom

After a long day of moving and playing with her cousins, Payten refused to go to bed because she was not tired. She pulled all the crayons out of the basket and was going to color me a picture. She lasted all but two minutes before she crashed.
She fell asleep holding her crayon!