So many words and memories of Sage have been written this past week. I have wanted to write something that would impact those who read it, but the words just haven't come to me. So instead I have chosen to write down my memories of him so in the coming weeks, months and even years to come I can always remember him the way I want to.
I remember when Crystal told me she was having a boy, I felt bad for her and Jayden. I had just welcomed a new daughter into our family and wanted Payten and her new cousin to be BEST GIRL friends. After talking to Crystal and seeing how excited she was to be having her fourth boy I was also just as happy for her.
I remember being scared that Crystal would fall down her stairs and get hurt. Chris is just so short that I feared she would lose her balance and fall down. She did fall but not down her stairs, I remember sitting in the maternity ward waiting room praying to Heavenly Father. Asking him to help Crystal and her little boy get threw this.
I remember being there when little Sage was born he was so perfect. He was the smallest of all of her babies, I was excited that she would get the chance to bring home a little 6 pound baby.
I remember when she had finished painting his room it was awesome. Everything matched so wonderfully I just knew her new son would love his room.
I remember Sage dressing as a clown for Halloween. Crystal pushed him right alongside Payten, when Sage needed to go home to nurse i toke his bag and made sure he had a successful Halloween. (Parents always need candy)
I will always remember holding him and how stiff he would sit he never bent his body. I always laughed and thought it very unique.
I remember seeing him crawl around, he was into everything. I remember being happy for Crystal that she finally had a baby that crawled at an early age.
I remember when she cut his hair, how sweet he looked with his new look.
I remember Crystal feeding Sage his carrots and how happy he was. His little face was orange and he kept on making sweet baby nosies.
Most of all I will forever remember how much Payten loved to give him kisses. She LOVED him, it's like she knew just how special he was. Sage couldn't be in the same room with Payten without her kissing him over and over again.
Most of all I will miss not getting the chance to know him. I will miss not knowing what his favorite animal is, or what he likes in his sipy cup. I will miss seeing him learn how to walk or talk. I will miss not knowing what his favorite foods are and seeing his face when Spencer makes him one of his milk shakes. I will miss hearing all about his first day of school and all the new friends he made. I'm going to miss the bond he and Payten would have had. I know he is in Heavenly Father's arms, doing the work that needs to be done. But I just know how much I'm going to miss him.