One Year and Six Months

On September 19 my dear little nephew Sage will have been with the angels for 18 months. I have learned threw his passing that each one of us grieves differently. For instance I have learned that I'm a keep it inside and don't talk about it but think about him everyday kind of griever. Until I can't keep it in anymore and have to talk to John. Sage's death has forever changed our family and the way we view each other. We cry at birthdays and thank Heavenly Father for allowing our child to have a birthday. When a child has their FIRST birthday I have such a feeling of relief I feel like its their biggest accomplishment they turned 1. Before I put my Caden to bed I always kiss his check and tell him that no one loves him as much as I do and to please wake up. When I hear his little cry threw the monitor I say a thank you prayer for allowing him to wake up. When Payten is driving me nuts I have to sit back and just remember at least she is here with me driving me nuts. Kaitlen has a broken leg and for the last six weeks John and I have had to do almost everything for her. But at least she is still here and a leg can heal. Haven lives a few thousand miles away but at least she is living. Sage has taught me to always love my babies that no matter what they did or will do that at least they are here to do it.

2010 has brought our family three new babies Caden in March, Ellie in August and Amanda's baby in October. My sisters and I can't help but worry until we are sick that something will go wrong. Sages death has taken our blinders off we no longer live in happy fairy tale land instead we know that anything can happen and the worst part about knowing this is even though Sage passed away we know that it doesn't give our family a free pass for all our other children. Instead we know that the time we have with our children is the most important time we will ever have. We always say you would think that with Sages passing nothing else bad will ever happen to any of us again that we should all win the lottery or invent the cure for cancer. Instead we know that lighting can strike the same place twice. So I encourage you all to love your children every minute of everyday. Play with them, laugh with them and teach them the gospel

Crystal and I will talk and say that at least Sage has made it, he will always get to live with Heavenly Father he will never have to worry about making it back home. But part of me a (huge) part would rather have him here with us I think we could have been his teachers he would have made his mistakes but at least we could have been his teachers. I know that I can't see the bigger picture and I know our Heavenly Father needed him but knowing this doesn't take away the pain. In most cases I just feel guilty for wanting him here with us instead of living with Heavenly Father.

To my Sage you have been gone 18 months and I miss you as much as I did that awful day in March. Till we meet again

Your Aunt
Jessy

People of Walmart II

Oh my goodness these are just to funny not to share. Go to www.peopleofwalmart.com for hundreds of laughs.


‘Cuz He Likes To Party

Wing Dings

Silly Bands

Sneak Peek

Blame It On The Goose

September 1,2007

My little girl turned three yesterday, I was so excited for her. She started her day off with her very first dentist appointment. Which I'm happy to report went really well, she has no cavities and zero build up. Then it was time for the fun, we took Payten to Jeeper Creepers it's an indoor amusement park. She loved it we had so much fun with her. Then we came home and I made her a special dinner and a cake! Her BIG party will be on Friday with her aunts,uncles,cousins and grandparents.

Payten Memories: Remember when........

I was in labor and the nurse told me I wasn't and just a few hours later she was born.
Me beating the crap out of John during labor.
Me crying for DRUGS when I was in labor.
Me asking for my mom but instead I called her MOMMY, yes John still teases me about that one.
The first time I saw her very blond hair and BIG blue eyes.
She cried ALL the time.
When she laughed for the first time I cried.
My poor baby had her first UTI I cried again.
When Payten was only 8 months old and walking everywhere.
She was 12 months old and finally slept for me.
When she beat up Jayden, oh wait she still does that. She can be so mean.
When she was potty training and was so excited that she pooped in the potty.
When she started calling her grandparents "Greenma and Greenpa"
When she thinks I'm still asleep and gives me a hug and a kiss and tells me she loves me.
When she steals Cadens Binky's because she can't find hers.
She says I love you to SPACE.
When she eats your food off of your plate even though she has the same thing on her plate.
When she jumped in the pool all by herself and wasn't afraid.
When she was going to go to school because her sisters do.
When we moved her bed into our room because she wouldn't stop sleeping on the floor and it was sad to see her bunched up on the floor next to me every night.
I'll love her forever because she is my Pay Pay!

Happy Birthday Payten!

Sorry Payten

So Payten was siting on my lap when I had this on she jumped from my lap screaming ran into her bedroom screaming and crying she was so scared. When I was able to calm her down she told me 'Momma Pay Pay don't like scary monster on yours puter' Okay I know this was a mean thing to do but it was so funny to see her reaction. She was so afraid for Kaitlen that she opened her door an inch and was yelling for her' K-T MA to come in yours room before the monster gets her' I know I know its a mean thing to do but so funny.

Are we done yet

We are almost one month out since Kaitlen broke her leg and all I can ask is ARE WE DONE YET. I'm so ready for her to be healed its not even funny, I'm tired of getting her to and from school, getting her up the stairs down the stairs, in the car out of the car, in the shower out of the shower. Most of all I'm sick of her wheel chair I feel like her chair is ALWAYS in the way I trip on it at least once a day. Poor girl gets so board that she just stares at me or she rolls as fast as she can from the kitchen to the couch over and over again. If I'm this annoyed you can only imagine how Katie is feeling needless to say the next few months need to hurry along.

But I Like Him A lot

Just in case you all aren't counting my little guy is five months old now. He has not only stolen my heart but the heart of his three older sisters as well. We had Miss Haven for summer and she not only helped me with his bath everyday but she also picked out his clothes. Haven loved his 'boy' clothes so much that she tried to wear them after deciding she was to big for them she would lay them on her chest and pretend she was wearing them. Haven loves Caden so much that she would hold on to his arms and rap to him K-I-S-S-I-N-G over and over again she saw that on Americas Got Talent.

Then we have Kaitlen who informs me that she has NO MORE big sister left in her and if we decided to have another baby she is living at her Grandmas. She says that he needs to much attention and that every one just thinks he is sooooo cute. But she can't leave for school without giving him hugs and the first thing she does when she gets home is talks to him. He response to her evey time he really likes Kaitlen they growl at one another and she was the first one to get him to laugh!

Now we have Payten she over loves him, its so bad that I don't dare shower when he is awake, one time I came out of the bedroom and she had his little swing going so fast that poor Cade was white knuckling it. She is always wanting to see his "boy parts" and just yesterday she got hold of a marker and drew all over his face. I thought she was playing with him while he was in his bouncer but no she was coloring him brown. Payten won't share HIS toys with him and she has taken over every one of his Binky's I'll look over and she is sucking on his blue 0-3 month Binky. Her best line is but mom I just like him a lot. She has tried to nurse him and when he is crying she thinks biting him is the best way to get him to stop. Over all we have great girls they just really love their brother!

Oh my Gosh Caden is almost three months old

Almost three months ago my little boy was born. Our family changed forever that day, we went from a family of little girls to a family with a BOY and little girls! Those first few weeks I was so tired and overwhelmed I wasn't sure how I was going to care for each of them. But three months later I have figured it out. As Kaitlen says "I'm getting used too having Caden around" He is my little buddy, he wakes up every morning around 5:30 - 6:00 he always greets me with a smile. I think those few hours we have together in the morning before the girls wake up are so special. He will talk to me and give me his best smiles that melt my heart every time. He loves to be held tight when he is tired within minutes he is sound asleep. We are so grateful he has been given to our family.


Getting Ready for Bed!


Sucking his thumb

First day of Church