My Next 30 years

I'm on the count down to my 30TH birthday, only 17 short days and I will be 30 years old. I figure if I keep saying I'm going to be thirty, that when the 25TH roles around I'll be OKAY with being thirty. It's funny but this year I can think of at least thirty things I want for my birthday, I feel like a kid I tell John I want that for my birthday and most of the time I'm not kidding I want it.

These past ten years have flown bye so fast:

20- got married
21- had Kaitlen
22- divorced and a single Mom
23-24- lost my weight was a hot single mom and was happy for the first time in years. Went back to college and was loving life.
25- meet John and fell in love got married
26- had my Payten
27-28- got fat again
29- had my Caden.

I'm looking forward to my next thirty years I hope that the things I learned in my twenties will prepare me for my thirties. So all I can say is come on 30 I'm ready for you.

English 101

These past few months we have all learned a few new words from Payten and Jayden. We have all laughed so hard and in many case have started pronouncing words as our 3 and 4 year old do. Please be warned that some words sound like cuss words which makes them even funnier.

Jayden: Four Years Old
fluge: fudge
flaffle:waffle
smarshmellows: marshmallows
Frismiss: Christmas
Prama: Grandma
smarsh brothers: smash brothers

Payten: Three Years Old
appers: apples
Fencer: Spencer
coloring f***: coloring book
man cakes: pancakes
lip dick: lip stick
bright: sprite
Do you want some: I'm going to hit you.
I'll jack you up: I'm going to hit you harder.
Greenma: Grandma

Saying Goodbye to 2010

I'm saying GOODBYE to 2010 may you never come back again. With the exception of my son's birth and my new niece and nephew this has been another crappy year. Just in case your not sure why let me remind you........

March.... One year anniversary of Sage passing away.

April.... John was fired from Southwest because he took three days off when I had Caden instead of just the one day.

July.... Kaitlen slipped in her room broke her tibia and fibula bone. She was in a wheel chair for 3 months.
John got a job working for a crazy man, he owned his own Mobil auto repair business; you know the kind that come to your house to fix your car. The kicker is "CRAZY FRED" didn't even own a car yet he was the owner of a MOBIL auto repair business. John drove him around he was the mans taxi.

September.... My dad told John and I to move home so we could help each other out financially. Little did we know he goes Crazy in October.

October.... My Dad goes crazy, he leaves my mom for "His Best Friend", homeless, no car and with $2.46 to her name.
John and I are now homeless as well remember September.
Kaitlen gets her cast off but now she walks with a limp.

December.... Came to the realization my Dad doesn't love me, his FRIEND didn't even know he had a daughter named Jessica. (I got to met her, go me) I was the only child that didn't get a Merry Christmas text from him.
Kaitlen still walks with a limp, we need to get her in physical therapy.

Santa gets all the Love

This morning I was getting Kaitlen ready for school and she was telling me what she wants from Santa.........

ME: Kaitlen what do you want from Santa?

KT: I want a DS Mom

ME: Wow that's a pretty tall request I'm not sure if Santa can get a DS.

KT: Mom a DS is small it's like this (she draws an outline in the air)

I love how innocent kids are she has no idea that a DS cost a lot of money. Little does she know that I love her and Haven so much that I was standing in line at Walmart freakin early with Aunt Amanda on Black Friday so that I could make their Christmas the best. For 89 bucks a piece Santa will fulfill their Christmas wish. I can't forget to give a shout out to mom and Aunt Crystal for making sure Payten gets her Barbie Power wheel Jeep from Santa that was on sale for 88 bucks on Black Friday. Needless to say I'm excited for Christmas, to bad Santa gets all the credit!

baby jack jack

Caden's nick name has become Jack Jack, he is so little but he's always trying to do big things! I love this little boy so much.

Wasn't Enough Time

My baby will be 8 months old next Thursday, he will be 8 months and 2 days next Saturday. My nephew passed away at 8 months and 2 days; 19 months ago my brother in law found Sage in his crib not breathing. The day Caden was born I have always feared for the day my son would be 8 months and 2 days old. In my mind I think what if I only have 9 more days to kiss on him, hold him, be with him. 8 months isn't long enough at all.

Tonight Crystal and Spencer gave Caden, Sage's Santa toy they were so happy to put it together for him and even more excited to see him play with it. It's not fair Caden should have been playing with an old toy that Sage grew out of, the toy has been around longer then he was. I'm scared for next Saturday to come I'm so scared that I don't think I will be able to lay him in his bed that night. I know how retarded this sounds but every mother knows how much they love their babies and the thought of not having him with me in 9 days makes me cry. It hasn't been long enough I'm just getting to know him.

Crystal and Spencer are truly the strongest two people I have ever met, they have blessed my life with their faith in Heavenly Father and their love for each other everyday. I know how selfish this sounds it's not about me or my son I'm just afraid bad things happen all the time. Okay so this post is truly my ramblings sorry....

I'm not tired yet Mom

After a long day of moving and playing with her cousins, Payten refused to go to bed because she was not tired. She pulled all the crayons out of the basket and was going to color me a picture. She lasted all but two minutes before she crashed.
She fell asleep holding her crayon!